Monday, June 26, 2006

pastey white men

Can someone please help me understand myself. Why am I fascinated by characters like Ignatius from Confederacy of Dunces? I just read about a man who could be his Russian cousin. Absurdistand follows Misha through his stumbling life while trying to gain access back into America. He is a fat, squishy, oily individual. He made me think so much of Ignatius. So what is it about these soft, lard like, greasy characters that I find compelling? Is it their inability to change? Their complete contentment with their fat, lazy selves? I am repulsed by their chins dripping in butter and their constant gas, their pathetic hygiene.

I try to find more meaning. It cannot just be me watching a train wreck.

I think they echo my thoughts of Americans. The side of our nation that gorges and gropes for everything that is easy and filling. The part of our country that imbibes without tasting, swallows without savoring. That section that is undaunted by how disgusting the action might be, or what refuse is created in the whirlwind of self gratification.

Is this why I have to keep reading? Because Misha and Ignatius are part of my home?

Friday, June 23, 2006

week end

I am a tad fried after the crazy week. The good news is that I am done with a monstrous website design I have been working on for a while. It is done. All the way done. I just archived all the emails pertaining to it and cleaned my desk off from all my notes.

The bad news is that I am not in NYC. I really needed a break and would have loved to see some great shows and see some friends. Not sure when I will have time to make it up there this summer but be sure NY bloggers I will let you know when that is and I would love to catch up/meet you then.

For tonight I am going to kick back and relax. I have Absurdistan, The Idiot, Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them, and Blind Assassin on the end table (not sure where I will start).

Did I mention Corona? I have that too.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

sour summer so far

As it turns I will be stuck in town this weekend. Too much work.

Arrgh.

Monday, June 19, 2006

road trip?

So I would very much like to go to NYC this weekend. I want to see Dead City and Nerve. If you are in NYC and have not yet seen these shows, then go.

I have to get all my work done by Thursday if I am going to get out of dodge, and that is all I have to say about that.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

tracking indoctrination

You may laugh, but only for a second...then you may cry.


Small: That lady says that Smaller and I look like nocturnal twins.

Me: I think you mean fraternal.

Small: No its nocturnal. I saw it on TV. They called these two boys nocturnal twins.

Me: Well they probably meant it as a joke.

Small: No it was not a joke.

Me: How do you know? Maybe you just didn't get it.

Small: No, if it had been a joke they would have told us to laugh.

Me: Who would have told you to laugh?

Small: The laughing people on TV. They always tell you when something is funny.

Me: Sweet heaven, read a book.

Monday, June 12, 2006

sky, periwinkle, slate, aquamarine

I've got the blues.

Post show blues, but so relieved we closed. It has been a long run.

Tomorrow, onward and upward.

Friday, June 09, 2006

railing

There is a great speech from Eduardo Machado, and discussion going on at Parabasis.

I love a good rant. I think there a should be more 'hold your fist to the sky and rail' happening sometimes. I agree with a lot of the speech, but there are a few key points that I would like to respectfully disagree with.

"And I beg you let us stop being afraid of the audience. They are supposed to be afraid of us."

Why does the audience have to fear us? Why can't there be an adventure together? I am not out to scare my audience, unless that is the intention of the piece or role. Sometimes I am part of something that seeks to embrace its audience, other times anger them. What is more important to me is that I make them want. Make them want for more, for answers, for love, for change, for something new.

"I don't feel we are brave enough. I feel the theatre that I see for the most part is watered down."

Maybe he is not going to the right shows. I have seen many pieces that take risks and challenge me this year. Maybe he is talking about the Broadway model, and if so then he is not talking about the majority of theatre in America.

"Finally I'd like to discuss one of our biggest problems: Education. By now I think we all know we train too many people. I am guilty of this more then most of you. I run the playwriting program at Columbia and I am required to let in ten student playwrights a year. When I first started working there it was only six a year. It should really be two.

But because the university wants money. Because even at the educational level they feel art does not have to be subsidized, ten playwrights graduate every year from my program. How can they all really be playwrights? They can't and they are not. And since when did theatre people need a master to be actors, directors and playwrights, designers and producers?

I barely graduated from high school.

I went to an acting school that was down an alley in Van Nuys. I learned about playwriting from Maria Irene Fornes in an abandoned building called INTAR 2 on 53rd street, and by having my first three plays produced - not workshopped - at The Ensemble Studio Theatre. No degree. Just what came my way. What I sought out. If we have so many students graduating every year then what happens to the self taught, the inspired, the different? They are buried under piles of graduate scripts, resumes and 8X10s.

There is a wall that is making the theatre a place for only those who can afford it. But who is being kept out? The voices of the hungry and unknown. Of those who don't fit in. Of those whose future is dependent on their ability to Scream."


OK - so a) he was trained by Fornes. That hardley constitutes a lack of education. It may be true that colleges are letting in more people than they used to, but that does not lessen the importance that education holds for an artist b) I am a believer in the education of artists. It hones the talents you have, exposes you to a breadth of theatre knowledge, gives you the opportunity to perform in a place that is solely about education, about the experience of the theatre itself, with no mitigating factors. Also, in addition it serves as the first weeding out for many artists. I watched as many of my counterparts began to realize that the theatre was not for them, just as I watched as the training affirmed for many of us that this was our calling. c) To say that theatre training is available only to those who can afford it is nowhere near accurate. I went to school with mostly starving artists, who are still paying back their loans. Lastly, d)if someone who is not trained is driven enough they will overcome the hurdles and make it anyway. There are plenty who have done so and many more to come I am sure.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

strangers with candy

It's not fair. I used this phrase, not just when I was 5, but yesterday as well. I think it with too much frequency. I was brought up to not use it. Taught that, life is not always fair, so quit your whining and move on. But I still revert back to 5 when life is not fair.

The massacre in Haditha was again in the Post this week. It sets me on the edge to think that this story is not causing riots in this nation.

Imagine, please, that due to the dislike of our leader and the fact that we have nuclear weapons, we are invaded. Our streets turned to rubble, our families shattered, economy ruined, but more; we no longer have running water, cannot use electricity, have no access to gasoline, not that we would want to drive, because their is gunfire wherever you go. The insanity of it is that those bombing you are claiming to be there to help you.

They give you candy. They lure our children out with sweets making them targets. Has anyone thought about the utter perversion of this? Men with guns giving children they don't know candy. We preach to our kids to never accept candy from strangers, let alone ones holding guns. How are sweets going to cover the acrid taste of loss that is gripping an entire country?

Now imagine that during the injustice of this, men who may or may not be the same ones who gave out candy come back without the treats, but now only with their guns and shoot one by one the children that took the bait and then kill their mothers. We can only hope it happened in that order. What if it was opposite? What if those little ones had to watch their parents die first? What if they were left alone in those last jagged seconds?

The injustice of it is beyond scope, but it does not seem to be ruffling many. Is it our insensitivity to those far away? Are we a desensitized nation? Do we believe that other races do not grieve or feel loss like we do? I think the answer is yes.

It is not fair.

Monday, June 05, 2006

head rush

Smaller has been standing on his head for years. Smaller is happy upside down and can hold entire conversations inverted. While standing on his head, Smaller can eat, burp, fart, sing, watch television, do modern dance moves with his feet, relate the pertinent news from his day, and add sums in his head. Smaller spends much of his life doing the tripod or a full headstand with legs gloriously outstretched straight to the sky. Hence why this was a victorious day for Smaller.

While playing with other random small person (ORSP)...

ORSP: Let's race to see who is faster.

Smaller: OK


(They race, they tie.)

ORSP: I win. Now lets see who can hop on one foot the longest.

Smaller: OK.


(They hop, they tie.)

ORSP: I win.

Smaller: No you did not.

ORSP: Yes I did, and you cheated.

Smaller: No I did not.

ORSP: Fine then lets do another. Let's see who can stand on their head the longest.


(A choir of heavenly voices erupt from the clouds, and a strange glow is emitted from Smaller's chest and, as he slowly turns, the wind ruffles his hair.)

Smaller: OK.

(They stand on their heads. ORSP falls over. Smaller stays on his head, perfectly straight, not wavering even an iota. He stays there for several minutes while ORSP continually attempts to attain the perfection that Smaller has, but ORSP keeps falling over.)

Smaller: I WIN.

Friday, June 02, 2006

someone is living my fantasy

I love that there are actors with enough clout that they actually can get away with scolding an audience. I have dreamt of the moment when I can turn on the rude loud talker, cell phone ringer, or concession challenged idiot and say in my best actory voice "DO YOU MIND, I AM ACTING HERE!"

I would have applauded Griffiths if I had been in the house. Let's hear it for the boys!

Thursday, June 01, 2006

over the swag

I love that this step has been taken. I am not sure what good it will do, but all the same, I am glad it is being addresses. The buying of votes in this country is grotesque and the practice of it has spread like a cancer. Now the idea of buying votes is considered acceptable.

I wish that the Oscars would adopt a similar practice. It may be that money does not buy a vote but I am sure it can sway it. You disagree? What about when Cuba Gooding won instead of Ed Norton or Judy Dench losing for Mrs. Brown, but winning for Shakespeare in Love or Annette Benning not winning for either American Beauty or Being Julia. Most stupefying was Gwenyth Paltrow winning over Kate Blanchette.

But lets look at the bigger picture. How about George Bush getting to be president instead of Al Gore. The biggest election buy off ever.

It's all a trickle down people.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

on the rocks, no salt

Hear me now City Mouse. I will go and see Two Rooms this Saturday afternoon. I will get to The Monument a little later on.

I am so sorry to have missed A Bright Room Called Day but hope to get to Arabian Night.

I also want to get to A Body of Water and Someone Who'll Watch Over Me and the Capital Fringe Festival.

My current show closes in a few weeks and I am not doing a show this summer. I ping pong back and forth between excitement (time for camping, vacation, the pool, and margaritas) and regret (getting itchy not working on a role). When I feel like the latter my biggest solace is knowing that I will have the evenings free to go and see some of the great work that DC theatre is doing.

Friday, May 19, 2006

marriage amended...how does one do that?

If you live in Virginia please think about helping Equality Fairfax in their fight against the marriage ban amendment.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

commercials are for soda

I am not a person with a 30 second attention span.

I can handle a complex idea being explained to me.

I have the ability to understand that problems might not have easy resolutions.

I am willing to sacrifice what is easy for what is right.


We have been inundated with the idea that Democrats are lost and have no clear vision ever since Clinton left office. There is almost a weekly article in all major magazines reinforcing this misconception. Lastly I read this article pointed out to me by the Hairy Ape, and while the article has many, and I mean many, great points and interesting perspectives, I still don't like the perpetuation of the idea that Democrats are lost.

The Democrats that I volunteer with are still very much the party of the people. The face of America has changed a lot and I agree that there is a definite 'me first' mentality in this country; but as a party we still stand for many of the same things. The difference is that while we continue to become a more televised/media central/fast food/sound bited nation the Democratics are unable to shrink their message to fit into a 30 second ad. The Democratic messages have always been ones that need at least an hour long documentary, because we are attacking what is complex about our problems as a nation, and as a people. Shrinking the amount of time to get a message across is very advantageous to the Republican Party. It enables them to skim the surface. Say these sound bites out loud and see how they play:

Marriage is sacred.
Every American deserves to keep more of their hard earned money.
It is your right to protect yourself.
Pro life.

Now try these:

Every person has the right to healthcare.
Every child deserves a good education.
Protect our planet.
Pro choice.

The first 4 are insular and about you as the individual. The second four are about everyone. So they beg the question - How much do we have to give up in order to get them?

The reason that democrats don't fair well with a concise message is because there isn't one. There are many. There is no one answer either. The issues are complex and the solutions are not easy. It will be hard to become environmentally friendly -hard for everyone. It will be hard to make healthcare universal and education better, and there is no quick clear road to it. What is not hard is allowing two consenting adults to get married, but it is very difficult to fight ignorance and bigotry; and Democrats are the party that have the tenacity to invoke that kind of change.

What we don't have is a poster boy/girl. We need a new JFK, Clinton, FDR. We need someone who knows how to demystify the big issues for the public. What we also need are real debates. Ones that are not rehearsed, ones where they talk directly to each other and duke it out, ones where the people in the room are not required to submit there questions beforehand. We need to make our politicians become thinkers, not speakers. We need free and equal media coverage for elections. Most of all we need politicians to own up to our true America. We need them to say, 'I need more than two minutes to answer this question.'

Friday, May 12, 2006

open the box

I started using this a few months back and cannot explain how much I love it.

If you have not yet discovered Pandora then go there now. Yes, I am telling you, not asking.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

sex toys or why i should not run for office

I feel for any cast that works with me because at some point, no matter how hard I try to keep myself from doing it, I go on a political tirade that rarely leaves anyone in question of where I think they should stand on the subject about which I am ranting.

I apologize to my current cast for my tirade about how uptight America is about sexuality - it was spawned by Bill Maher's comments last week and I kept the ball rolling through the weekend. The crazy part was that when the rant ended all we continued to discuss was butt plugs. I have never had an actual conversation about them. The dressing room discussion quickly devolved into us inserting the words 'butt plug' into our most dramatic moments of dialogue, ie. to butt plug or not to butt plug...until we were rolling around on the floor, weeping with laughter at our new mantra 'my subtext is butt plug'.

I act like an adult, but inside I am an adolescent boy.

I will post something of more substance next time. I promise.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

the list keeps growing

This post made me want to share my own list of possible summer reading, especially since two of the three were already on my list as well.

-The Idiot
-Absurdistan
-American Gods
-Politics Lost: How American Democracy Was Trivialized By
People Who Think You're Stupid
-Infinite Jest
-Brideshead Revisited
-Don Quixote
-*Bug
-*Bloody Sunday : Scenes from the Saville Inquiry
-*Shaplin: Three Plays
-*Crumbs from the Table of Joy and Other Plays


* Plays

These are books that I feel I should reread, because I read them back in high school and that was a while ago.

-On the Road
-Tropic of Cancer
-War & Peace
-The Brothers Karamazov


If anyone has any of the plays or the newer books and feels like lending them to me I would greatly appreciate it. I would also love to hear from anyone who has read any of the above and wants to spout.

Friday, May 05, 2006

wouldn't eat that if i were you

It has been a stressful, hard week. Stressful. Thank goodness I get to have conversations like this to keep me grounded.

Smaller: Babies are so cute. Do you wish you had one?

Me: No.

Smaller: Why not?

Me: Well, babies are cute; but all they do is eat, poop, and sleep.

Smaller: Don't be silly. Babies don't eat poop.

Friday, April 28, 2006

i just can't take laugh tracks

Love this quote from an interview with Albee.

"I’ve always loved very sophisticated comedy and cheap comedy. It’s the stuff in between I have problems with."

For the whole thing go here.

Thanks to Adam for the link.