Disrupt the cliche and cluttered minds.
h/t DevilVet
Friday, January 30, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
guilt candy
Walking out of a restaurant on Sunday night Small took a quarter out of his pocket to buy a gumball. Right next to the gumball machine was a collection box for cancer research funds.
He hesitated, then dropped the quarter in the cancer research fund.
Small: I can't believe they put that right next to the gumball machine.
Me: Why?
Small: Well how could I buy a gumball with that being right there. I would feel awful.
Me: Yeah?
Small: Yeah, it would be like chewing a cancer ball.
Me: OK then.
He hesitated, then dropped the quarter in the cancer research fund.
Small: I can't believe they put that right next to the gumball machine.
Me: Why?
Small: Well how could I buy a gumball with that being right there. I would feel awful.
Me: Yeah?
Small: Yeah, it would be like chewing a cancer ball.
Me: OK then.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
solid earth
Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions - who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them.
-President Barack Obama, Inaugural Address
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them.
-President Barack Obama, Inaugural Address
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Monday, January 05, 2009
the future is close to home
I am going to head over and see Daisy's show next week. I am curious to see what the piece is like because I have felt like the discourse surrounding the show has become become fairly hyper at times. Its about time we have this conversation here, and it is a discussion I look forward to hearing. Heck, I may even stay for the round table discussion, even though I am going on the 'state of the union' night and not the '2034' discussion night, which I would rather hear.
My belief is that the future of American theatre may very well be regional. No, let me restate that, because regional implies that it is still in an urban setting. How about 'local theatre'. There is a vast population of educated, cultural people who do not live in cities. Movie theatres are abundant in every town, but not theatre companies.
When I dreamt of my theatre company I was centererd on it mission and the artistic realization of that mission. When I started out founding it, I did mostly market and demographic research of the area in which I wanted to establish the theatre. I have always had strong opinions about theatre, and about wanting to make theatre. That love for theatre, however, was not part of the answer to the question "How will this flourish?". I chose to create it outside of the city limits, and modeled my growth goals after other thriving theatres in the 'burbs.
It has occured to me for years that part of the reason that theatre audiences are dwindling has everything to do with location. My thought is that audiences are not actually dwindling as much as they are spreading out. As the urban sprawl continues so does the aggravation over commuting. I know that I currently commute into DC for every acting job I take, and its not easy. When I did a breakdown of education, cultural interests, and median income, I found that the outerlying suburbs of DC offered a very likely population of theatre goers. All of whom do not want to haul into the city to go to the theatre. They have to be hard core theatre lovers to stray that far from home after their work week. There is, of course, the ticket price issue as well. In my mind if I offered a resonable ticket price, free parking, and an easy commute, it would make theatre going the entertainment it is supposed to be instead of the chore it can become.
Case in point. I recently went to see a friends show at Woolly Mammoth. With both STC's stages going full swing, Verizon Centers events and Woolly's shows, the parking there has become nightmarish. Add to that the fact that many parking garages close at 9 and yeesh! I was 20 minutes late and so over it all by the time I took my seat (FYI, the remainder that I saw of BOOM was wonderfully done).
Why is it that as the population of this country spreads out, as do the coffee houses, bars, restaurants, movie theaters, yoga studios, and high end grocery stores, the theatre stays rooted in the city? Do we think folks living outside the city are just not that into us? I think they are just making do until something they really like comes along. The county I live in has been in the top three fastest growing counties in the U.S. for over 5 years. The folks who are moving my way are mostly former city dwellers - oh and their democrats as well (give it up for a recently BLUE Virginia!).
Here's hoping I am right and this new company becomes their new stomping grounds.
My belief is that the future of American theatre may very well be regional. No, let me restate that, because regional implies that it is still in an urban setting. How about 'local theatre'. There is a vast population of educated, cultural people who do not live in cities. Movie theatres are abundant in every town, but not theatre companies.
When I dreamt of my theatre company I was centererd on it mission and the artistic realization of that mission. When I started out founding it, I did mostly market and demographic research of the area in which I wanted to establish the theatre. I have always had strong opinions about theatre, and about wanting to make theatre. That love for theatre, however, was not part of the answer to the question "How will this flourish?". I chose to create it outside of the city limits, and modeled my growth goals after other thriving theatres in the 'burbs.
It has occured to me for years that part of the reason that theatre audiences are dwindling has everything to do with location. My thought is that audiences are not actually dwindling as much as they are spreading out. As the urban sprawl continues so does the aggravation over commuting. I know that I currently commute into DC for every acting job I take, and its not easy. When I did a breakdown of education, cultural interests, and median income, I found that the outerlying suburbs of DC offered a very likely population of theatre goers. All of whom do not want to haul into the city to go to the theatre. They have to be hard core theatre lovers to stray that far from home after their work week. There is, of course, the ticket price issue as well. In my mind if I offered a resonable ticket price, free parking, and an easy commute, it would make theatre going the entertainment it is supposed to be instead of the chore it can become.
Case in point. I recently went to see a friends show at Woolly Mammoth. With both STC's stages going full swing, Verizon Centers events and Woolly's shows, the parking there has become nightmarish. Add to that the fact that many parking garages close at 9 and yeesh! I was 20 minutes late and so over it all by the time I took my seat (FYI, the remainder that I saw of BOOM was wonderfully done).
Why is it that as the population of this country spreads out, as do the coffee houses, bars, restaurants, movie theaters, yoga studios, and high end grocery stores, the theatre stays rooted in the city? Do we think folks living outside the city are just not that into us? I think they are just making do until something they really like comes along. The county I live in has been in the top three fastest growing counties in the U.S. for over 5 years. The folks who are moving my way are mostly former city dwellers - oh and their democrats as well (give it up for a recently BLUE Virginia!).
Here's hoping I am right and this new company becomes their new stomping grounds.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
goodbye shane
You always made me feel like a million bucks. I hope I was clear about how fantastic you were as well. If I had known that last big bear hug you gave me was the last one I would get, I would have demanded seconds. Rest easy my dear. I will miss you.
Friday, December 12, 2008
surf, bread, water...
It's been too long.
The theatre company is moving and grooving. After our last board meeting I had my first big breath of 'It's all going to work out'. Having them look at the budget I proposed and not go screaming from the room was the first good sign. Them all thinking that the amount was manageable during these volatile economic times was simply fantastic. I know that in years to come I may disagree with my board and we may duke it out over some things I feel very staunchly on, but this group of eight people were awesome. They listened, challenged me with thoughtful and helpful questions, aided me in some tough choices and then put their support behind the agenda and MONEY for the next year. I am deeply grateful to have this group.
Artistically we are still simmering. We have a few pots on the burners. This first full production is in May and is already shaping up to be wonderful - great director and design team signed on and almost fully cast - so much amazing talent. Meanwhile we have a slew of other small events and readings helping us get our name out there and giving us the chance to work with a lot of great folks.
Of course as soon as I decided to go full throttle with this company a bunch of acting opportunities started cropping up. Raining and pouring. It is always a struggle to pick and choose projects. I know that I would rather be in the situation of having to choose, but having to let go of an opportunity always hurts... and to top it of, these are great parts. Gggaarrrgghhh! Where were these parts when I had that 7 month lull?! It always works like this.
And in other news... I have not done one thing for the holidays. Not one. Its shaping up to be the best Christmas/Hannukah ever.
The theatre company is moving and grooving. After our last board meeting I had my first big breath of 'It's all going to work out'. Having them look at the budget I proposed and not go screaming from the room was the first good sign. Them all thinking that the amount was manageable during these volatile economic times was simply fantastic. I know that in years to come I may disagree with my board and we may duke it out over some things I feel very staunchly on, but this group of eight people were awesome. They listened, challenged me with thoughtful and helpful questions, aided me in some tough choices and then put their support behind the agenda and MONEY for the next year. I am deeply grateful to have this group.
Artistically we are still simmering. We have a few pots on the burners. This first full production is in May and is already shaping up to be wonderful - great director and design team signed on and almost fully cast - so much amazing talent. Meanwhile we have a slew of other small events and readings helping us get our name out there and giving us the chance to work with a lot of great folks.
Of course as soon as I decided to go full throttle with this company a bunch of acting opportunities started cropping up. Raining and pouring. It is always a struggle to pick and choose projects. I know that I would rather be in the situation of having to choose, but having to let go of an opportunity always hurts... and to top it of, these are great parts. Gggaarrrgghhh! Where were these parts when I had that 7 month lull?! It always works like this.
And in other news... I have not done one thing for the holidays. Not one. Its shaping up to be the best Christmas/Hannukah ever.
Monday, October 20, 2008
click, clickity, clunk
I have written a couple starts to my 'Farewell to Blogging' post, and find that I just can't do it. I can't let go. Since starting the theatre company I write like have not written since...well ever.
I write passion statements, mission statements, donor letters, budgets, grant proposals, contracts, bylaws, fundraising strategies, marketing material, web content, play synopses, emails, emails, emails, project proposals, code of ethics, agendas, and emails, emails, emails. I am burning out all the time and have little...well ok, nothing left that I feel the need to write about. I wish I could just have a conversation instead of having to type. But I don't want to talk about the theatre company; because I spend every day pitching it, and selling it, and convincing people to give me money, and space, and time and stuff, for it.
I would rather talk about what you are doing. I really, really would.
I hope you are well bloggy folk. I still read what you are writing, even if I am off the radar. I read your hi jinks, Isaac, and yours too, Matt. I keep up with you, Adam, and you Sheila (can't wait to meet the kid in person when your in town next). I can't stop visiting Dup, just to see how the west coast is going, and I am so sad that Rorschach has taken a blogging hiatus (I miss their tomfoolery). I keep up with Grote and Daisy and meander through countless other blogs as often as possible. I adore all you troublemakers.
But.... I cannot keep up with it all. I have smallers for Christ's sake. If you are in DC and want to chat. Let's go for a drink.
So I am not saying goodbye, but I am continuing my break, sabbatical, what have you. Keep blogging and talk to you soon.
I write passion statements, mission statements, donor letters, budgets, grant proposals, contracts, bylaws, fundraising strategies, marketing material, web content, play synopses, emails, emails, emails, project proposals, code of ethics, agendas, and emails, emails, emails. I am burning out all the time and have little...well ok, nothing left that I feel the need to write about. I wish I could just have a conversation instead of having to type. But I don't want to talk about the theatre company; because I spend every day pitching it, and selling it, and convincing people to give me money, and space, and time and stuff, for it.
I would rather talk about what you are doing. I really, really would.
I hope you are well bloggy folk. I still read what you are writing, even if I am off the radar. I read your hi jinks, Isaac, and yours too, Matt. I keep up with you, Adam, and you Sheila (can't wait to meet the kid in person when your in town next). I can't stop visiting Dup, just to see how the west coast is going, and I am so sad that Rorschach has taken a blogging hiatus (I miss their tomfoolery). I keep up with Grote and Daisy and meander through countless other blogs as often as possible. I adore all you troublemakers.
But.... I cannot keep up with it all. I have smallers for Christ's sake. If you are in DC and want to chat. Let's go for a drink.
So I am not saying goodbye, but I am continuing my break, sabbatical, what have you. Keep blogging and talk to you soon.
Friday, September 05, 2008
gonna make it big
Last night Smaller performed his new one man play:
Karate Baby: The Musical
It. Was. Incredible. He played both himself and Karate Baby.
The best part was when the baby doll that he puppeteered (which he took from Smallest's room, it is wearing a pink outfit with matching hat) told him to stop singing and they got in a huge karate fight. Karate Baby used her stellar ninja moves to beat the crap out of Smaller, and then right as you thought Smaller was done for he rallied and completely annihilated Karate Baby. When Karate Baby was down for good, Smaller sang "Karate Baby! You are fiiiiiniiiiiished" in a big operatic voice.
The End
Karate Baby: The Musical
It. Was. Incredible. He played both himself and Karate Baby.
The best part was when the baby doll that he puppeteered (which he took from Smallest's room, it is wearing a pink outfit with matching hat) told him to stop singing and they got in a huge karate fight. Karate Baby used her stellar ninja moves to beat the crap out of Smaller, and then right as you thought Smaller was done for he rallied and completely annihilated Karate Baby. When Karate Baby was down for good, Smaller sang "Karate Baby! You are fiiiiiniiiiiished" in a big operatic voice.
The End
Saturday, August 23, 2008
whilst i do not have it in me to write
One Art
by Elizabeth Bishop
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
by Elizabeth Bishop
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
bits o' tid
What a summer! Still slogging through a ton of stuff. Shows, writing, reading, designing, blah blah. But for the moment...
Indy theatre in NYC gets organized. h/t Freeman
In fairly disturbing news, ads are the new edgy theatre. Come to think of it, this may be a good way to fund an entire season. Imagine just doing ads for two hours at a pop. Who says its not artsy?! Fine it may not be artsy...but is it fartsy?
And, phew, this came back a week or two after it went down. Now I can breath easy and look at food porn again. It's like the good old days, only now I appreciate it even more.
Indy theatre in NYC gets organized. h/t Freeman
In fairly disturbing news, ads are the new edgy theatre. Come to think of it, this may be a good way to fund an entire season. Imagine just doing ads for two hours at a pop. Who says its not artsy?! Fine it may not be artsy...but is it fartsy?
And, phew, this came back a week or two after it went down. Now I can breath easy and look at food porn again. It's like the good old days, only now I appreciate it even more.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
cake walk
Smallest turned 5 yesterday. As she was tucked into bed last night, she turned over and whispered to herself "I did it, I'm 5 now."
I think that too. I think "She did it. I did it. We made it another round."
And on the note of smallers, and as promised here is their...
Summer To Do List 2008
[] Go to the pool
[] Water Balloon Fight
[] Play with Barbie Dolls
[] Go to a Water Park
[] Play Baseball at School
[] Play with Uncle X before he goes to Iraq
[] Go on a Vacation
[] Magic Show
[] Amusement Park
[] Go to the Movie Theater
[] Get Ice Cream
[] Go on a walk
[] Make an Obstacle Course
[] Go to the Creek
[] Do Detective Work
[] Have Jam Sessions
[] Read and go to the Library
[] Have a Dance Party
[] Go to our babysitter's House
[] Have friends over
[] Sleepover party
[] Have a Tea party
[] Go see a Play
[] Go see a Music Concert maybe at Pancake Mountain
[] Baltimore Science Museum
[] Mount Vernon
[] Camping
[] Get New Rooms
[] Go to the Mall
[] Paint Smallest’s Wall
[] Costume Contest
[] Do an Art Project
[] See Cousins
[] Watch Camp Rock
[] Have a family Movie Night
[] Write a Play
[] Write a Song
[] Write a Story
[] Play a music concert
[] HAVE EXTRA SUPER DUPER FUN!!!!!!
They keep adding, but it was time to share.
Happy summering!
I think that too. I think "She did it. I did it. We made it another round."
And on the note of smallers, and as promised here is their...
Summer To Do List 2008
[] Go to the pool
[] Water Balloon Fight
[] Play with Barbie Dolls
[] Go to a Water Park
[] Play Baseball at School
[] Play with Uncle X before he goes to Iraq
[] Go on a Vacation
[] Magic Show
[] Amusement Park
[] Go to the Movie Theater
[] Get Ice Cream
[] Go on a walk
[] Make an Obstacle Course
[] Go to the Creek
[] Do Detective Work
[] Have Jam Sessions
[] Read and go to the Library
[] Have a Dance Party
[] Go to our babysitter's House
[] Have friends over
[] Sleepover party
[] Have a Tea party
[] Go see a Play
[] Go see a Music Concert maybe at Pancake Mountain
[] Baltimore Science Museum
[] Mount Vernon
[] Camping
[] Get New Rooms
[] Go to the Mall
[] Paint Smallest’s Wall
[] Costume Contest
[] Do an Art Project
[] See Cousins
[] Watch Camp Rock
[] Have a family Movie Night
[] Write a Play
[] Write a Song
[] Write a Story
[] Play a music concert
[] HAVE EXTRA SUPER DUPER FUN!!!!!!
They keep adding, but it was time to share.
Happy summering!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
a well a well a well a huh
I am in the belly of THE MAN's house as I type this post. My last day. Oh wait...did I say that right? YES I DID! This. Is. My. Last. Day. Working on this contract. I never have to come here again. Hallefrickinlujah!
I cannot explain to you what this gray, fluorescent dungeon does to me. I feel pastey and dry and cardboardy when I am here. THE MAN wants to take away my spark, chutzpah, charm, the thing that makes me, me.
But enough. I am here writing on THE MAN's dime, and then I shall walk out into the sunshine and be free. Free to soak in the summer with the smallers in between my busy nights. The smallers have put together their annual 'Summer To Do' list, which I will be sure to share at a later time.
So, yes, I have been busy. I have had some big graphic design jobs, rehearsals for my summer show as well as for one of the pieces in the Source Festival.
Now I plug something I think is way cool. The Source Festival. Go to it. The building looks amazing and the lineup of artists is so rock and roll that it makes me feel like I am uber groovy for being in there with them.
The other thing I have been busy with is my new baby. You heard it here folks. I have given birth to a bouncing baby theatre company! I will pass out cigars once our non profit status is finalized. Yup, we have a board and bylaws, a website in the building, and a million other things I won't name, and all the crazy amount of work that one could ask for in five lifetimes. But she is here and she is already loved, and she is already proving to be a lot of trouble, but gosh darn it she is going to grow up to be beautiful. She has so much potential.
For the moment that is all the sharing I got in me. More soon.
I cannot explain to you what this gray, fluorescent dungeon does to me. I feel pastey and dry and cardboardy when I am here. THE MAN wants to take away my spark, chutzpah, charm, the thing that makes me, me.
But enough. I am here writing on THE MAN's dime, and then I shall walk out into the sunshine and be free. Free to soak in the summer with the smallers in between my busy nights. The smallers have put together their annual 'Summer To Do' list, which I will be sure to share at a later time.
So, yes, I have been busy. I have had some big graphic design jobs, rehearsals for my summer show as well as for one of the pieces in the Source Festival.
Now I plug something I think is way cool. The Source Festival. Go to it. The building looks amazing and the lineup of artists is so rock and roll that it makes me feel like I am uber groovy for being in there with them.
The other thing I have been busy with is my new baby. You heard it here folks. I have given birth to a bouncing baby theatre company! I will pass out cigars once our non profit status is finalized. Yup, we have a board and bylaws, a website in the building, and a million other things I won't name, and all the crazy amount of work that one could ask for in five lifetimes. But she is here and she is already loved, and she is already proving to be a lot of trouble, but gosh darn it she is going to grow up to be beautiful. She has so much potential.
For the moment that is all the sharing I got in me. More soon.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Monday, June 02, 2008
and you tube
I apologize for the sparsity of my posting. I have been working and working and working.
Then I have been escaping.
Escaping into red wine, and a two hour nap on Friday (that was not so much a snooze as it was my body and brain's unwillingness to do any more). Escaping into Havarti cheese with whole wheat crackers, and late night viewings of Iron Chef America, and Jeannette Winterson's Sexing the Cherry, and the Smallers. They are funny, those guys.
Smallest says in her chirpy voice "I love Indiana Jones, he is so hot, he is my boyfriend."
She says "Call me gorgeous, not like I look gorgeous, like its my name."
She says "Today at preschool Jake choked up a gabioli and I was like....gross." (Gabioli = ravioli)
Great escapes.
Then I have been escaping.
Escaping into red wine, and a two hour nap on Friday (that was not so much a snooze as it was my body and brain's unwillingness to do any more). Escaping into Havarti cheese with whole wheat crackers, and late night viewings of Iron Chef America, and Jeannette Winterson's Sexing the Cherry, and the Smallers. They are funny, those guys.
Smallest says in her chirpy voice "I love Indiana Jones, he is so hot, he is my boyfriend."
She says "Call me gorgeous, not like I look gorgeous, like its my name."
She says "Today at preschool Jake choked up a gabioli and I was like....gross." (Gabioli = ravioli)
Great escapes.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
clocks melting all over
I have been in that kind of busy that you look up and the days have catapulted away from you in some frenetic calendar malfunction.
And during it all Smallest got the stomach flu and got better, then I got the stomach flu and got better, then Smaller injured his collarbone, and is recovering, then I broke a tooth and have to be at the dentist later today for the requisite pain to my mouth and my wallet.
When waiting for Smaller to get x-rayed I skimmed some magazines. Evidently actresses are preggers a lot right now and all the rags call them baby bumps. It keeps saying 'sporting a baby bump' - like its a fashion choice. 'Bump' somehow minimizing the size of it. Bump - like speed bump. A) it feels a might bigger than a bump when you are carrying that sucker, and B) that 'bump' does anything but slow life down.
Moving on from the Hollywood world I picked up this magazine, which I honestly had no idea even existed and made me wonder what kind of establishment was currently studying my smaller's bones.
Garden and Gun says G&G is a southern lifestyle magazine that's all about the magic of the New South — the sporting culture, the food, the music, the art, the literature, the people, and the ideas. It espouses a strong conservation ethic that grows out of its connection to the land, and it reveals the beauty of the South as no magazine ever has.
Now this very well may be the greatest magazine on earth, but all I could see was that in the same magazine that you can send in questions to The Flower Doctor, you also can get a top ten gun pick. These are the moments where I look around and stop and wonder "How and when did I get here? Who are these tiny people who keep asking me questions? Who thought that the title Garden and Gun was anything but an SNL skit?"
Surreal couple weeks.
And during it all Smallest got the stomach flu and got better, then I got the stomach flu and got better, then Smaller injured his collarbone, and is recovering, then I broke a tooth and have to be at the dentist later today for the requisite pain to my mouth and my wallet.
When waiting for Smaller to get x-rayed I skimmed some magazines. Evidently actresses are preggers a lot right now and all the rags call them baby bumps. It keeps saying 'sporting a baby bump' - like its a fashion choice. 'Bump' somehow minimizing the size of it. Bump - like speed bump. A) it feels a might bigger than a bump when you are carrying that sucker, and B) that 'bump' does anything but slow life down.
Moving on from the Hollywood world I picked up this magazine, which I honestly had no idea even existed and made me wonder what kind of establishment was currently studying my smaller's bones.
Garden and Gun says G&G is a southern lifestyle magazine that's all about the magic of the New South — the sporting culture, the food, the music, the art, the literature, the people, and the ideas. It espouses a strong conservation ethic that grows out of its connection to the land, and it reveals the beauty of the South as no magazine ever has.
Now this very well may be the greatest magazine on earth, but all I could see was that in the same magazine that you can send in questions to The Flower Doctor, you also can get a top ten gun pick. These are the moments where I look around and stop and wonder "How and when did I get here? Who are these tiny people who keep asking me questions? Who thought that the title Garden and Gun was anything but an SNL skit?"
Surreal couple weeks.
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
hemming is not so haw
I have about 5 posts written that need to be edited, but for the time being they remain in limbo. Here is my cop out.
The Decision
by Jane Hirshfield
There is a moment before a shape
hardens, a color sets.
Before the fixative or heat of kiln.
The letter might still be taken
from the mailbox.
The hand held back by the elbow,
the word kept between the larynx pulse
and the amplifying drum-skin of the room’s air.
The thorax of an ant is not as narrow.
The green coat on old copper weighs more.
Yet something slips through it —
looks around,
sets out in the new direction, for other lands.
Not into exile, not into hope. Simply changed.
As a sandy track-rut changes when called a Silk Road:
it cannot be after turned back from.
The Decision
by Jane Hirshfield
There is a moment before a shape
hardens, a color sets.
Before the fixative or heat of kiln.
The letter might still be taken
from the mailbox.
The hand held back by the elbow,
the word kept between the larynx pulse
and the amplifying drum-skin of the room’s air.
The thorax of an ant is not as narrow.
The green coat on old copper weighs more.
Yet something slips through it —
looks around,
sets out in the new direction, for other lands.
Not into exile, not into hope. Simply changed.
As a sandy track-rut changes when called a Silk Road:
it cannot be after turned back from.
Monday, April 21, 2008
pretty penny
This idea that we value art at the expense of the artist keeps rattling around my head. I can't make it go away.
I watched a documentary this past weekend called My Kid Could Paint That. The art four year old Marla created was beautiful. Just gorgeous. I, for one, think she did the work. I have seen some amazing things come from my own smallers and they are definitely not geniuses. They just love color and shape and big ideas. The father's need to share her art in such a big way was disturbing in its obvious self aggrandizement. It was fairly repulsive to watch the media build her into a genius and then tear her down to a sham. Luckily she seemed oblivious to all of it. It was also hard to watch the mother who had such solid instincts about protecting her child and was continually talked out of them.
The art, we can except. But the artist, that human person, is so tragically flawed. Even if it is a child, there is this need to reel them in. It is ok to create the greatness, to have that moment, but as soon as we try to exist as a companion to that greatness we run into trouble. There is only the small percentage of us that can make it to the level where the art that is created is as worthy as the artist that creates it.
How can we increase the value of the artist?
I am looking for answers.
I watched a documentary this past weekend called My Kid Could Paint That. The art four year old Marla created was beautiful. Just gorgeous. I, for one, think she did the work. I have seen some amazing things come from my own smallers and they are definitely not geniuses. They just love color and shape and big ideas. The father's need to share her art in such a big way was disturbing in its obvious self aggrandizement. It was fairly repulsive to watch the media build her into a genius and then tear her down to a sham. Luckily she seemed oblivious to all of it. It was also hard to watch the mother who had such solid instincts about protecting her child and was continually talked out of them.
The art, we can except. But the artist, that human person, is so tragically flawed. Even if it is a child, there is this need to reel them in. It is ok to create the greatness, to have that moment, but as soon as we try to exist as a companion to that greatness we run into trouble. There is only the small percentage of us that can make it to the level where the art that is created is as worthy as the artist that creates it.
How can we increase the value of the artist?
I am looking for answers.
Friday, April 11, 2008
thus spake the smallers
The best quotes of the smallers recently.
Small: Did you know that Rob is short for Robert?
Smaller: Does that mean Bob is short for Bobert?
Smaller: No I am not!
Smallest: You don't know how heavy you are, you never lifted yourself!
Smaller: Less talking, more pulling!
*********************************************
Smaller: Are you going to do your homework right when we get home?
Small: No I am going to listen to Led Zeppelin and pretend the drummer is alive.
Smallest: Yes, I want to be smart and bossy and have boobs.
Small: Did you know that Rob is short for Robert?
Smaller: Does that mean Bob is short for Bobert?
*********************************************
Smallest: You are too heavy to pull!Smaller: No I am not!
Smallest: You don't know how heavy you are, you never lifted yourself!
Smaller: Less talking, more pulling!
*********************************************
Smaller: Are you going to do your homework right when we get home?
Small: No I am going to listen to Led Zeppelin and pretend the drummer is alive.
*********************************************
Small: When you get big do you want to be like Mommy?Smallest: Yes, I want to be smart and bossy and have boobs.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
i also juggle
In my last post I spoke about the value if the artist, so now go and read Mike Daisy and the correlating article.
Is it such a strange thing to believe that artists be paid for their job? It speaks to the entire question of the necessity of art. Try as people might to debate that question, it is fairly irrelevant, being that art does exist and has since the beginning of man, hence confirming that there is some innate need for it. Why we need it, is what makes it so damn interesting.
I thought about my smallers at home, and how I could be there with them. I thought of a staged reading I turned down for the night because of this audition -a fun read in a nice theatre space. I thought of my car and the fact that several had been broken into in this area recently. I thought of rehearsing this show in this space in the heat of summer with no air conditioning and what it would do to my lungs to inhale so much of this mottled air. Still I auditioned, because its so hard to turn away from a chance, even one such as that.
What does it say of our value when we do this to ourselves. Yes, I have passion for my art. Why the hell else would I follow that sad bunny trail above. We can talk about the value of paying the artist well, and that does matter. It is huge. But I also think that many artists come from a place of devaluing themselves. It makes sense. We work in a field of constant rejection. For every victory there are ten misses. We are used to not getting what we want. Is that why we accept those conditions? Let me also say that the company that ran that audition are great people. I like them, and I like their work. They are struggling to pay the bills too, and even in the face of that put up lovely productions.
Fast forward.
I was eating dinner with the Assistant Director of my current understudy gig in the midst of those rehearsals, and he complimented me on my work; to which I quickly demurred. I think I may have even rolled my eyes. I started to say 'Its not real acting, I am just a placeholder, etc' (I am not fond of understudying). He stopped me and said '95% of the world cannot do what you do, even less can handle classical text the way you do, don't diminish that'. He was right. It should not be reduced, and I do it all the time.
The last thing Daisy was doing in his article was being reductive. If anything he is fighting against all of us that accept this status quo. We should not be apologizing for our need to do art, we should not mitigate its effect, or its purpose.
I feel like he is asking us to grow a pair.
Well done.
Is it such a strange thing to believe that artists be paid for their job? It speaks to the entire question of the necessity of art. Try as people might to debate that question, it is fairly irrelevant, being that art does exist and has since the beginning of man, hence confirming that there is some innate need for it. Why we need it, is what makes it so damn interesting.
Conversely, there is also an artist's need to do it. Doing great art is like doing crack. An addictive, supreme high. So you go searching for more.
I remember an audition I had a couple years ago. When I first got back to acting after my hiatus at home with smallers. To get to the audition I had to park on a dimly lit street and walk down a dark alleyway that was littered with trash and debris. When I got to the back door of the audition space there was no light to help me find the steps up to the door. I moved slowly in the dark and carefully felt for each step before committing to moving upward. Once I got to the door and opened it I found a dimly lit warehouse space. Dirty and stuffy. We were supposed to do a lot of movement, and I could actually see the dust in the air. When I looked around the room, I knew many of the actors. We had all made the trek to this place. The play and the company were something we all were interested in. But in that moment all I could think was. 'WHAT THE HELL!". I am better than this. Not more important, not self important. Just important. I have worth. I am worth good working conditions and good health, and safe working environments.I thought about my smallers at home, and how I could be there with them. I thought of a staged reading I turned down for the night because of this audition -a fun read in a nice theatre space. I thought of my car and the fact that several had been broken into in this area recently. I thought of rehearsing this show in this space in the heat of summer with no air conditioning and what it would do to my lungs to inhale so much of this mottled air. Still I auditioned, because its so hard to turn away from a chance, even one such as that.
What does it say of our value when we do this to ourselves. Yes, I have passion for my art. Why the hell else would I follow that sad bunny trail above. We can talk about the value of paying the artist well, and that does matter. It is huge. But I also think that many artists come from a place of devaluing themselves. It makes sense. We work in a field of constant rejection. For every victory there are ten misses. We are used to not getting what we want. Is that why we accept those conditions? Let me also say that the company that ran that audition are great people. I like them, and I like their work. They are struggling to pay the bills too, and even in the face of that put up lovely productions.
Fast forward.
I was eating dinner with the Assistant Director of my current understudy gig in the midst of those rehearsals, and he complimented me on my work; to which I quickly demurred. I think I may have even rolled my eyes. I started to say 'Its not real acting, I am just a placeholder, etc' (I am not fond of understudying). He stopped me and said '95% of the world cannot do what you do, even less can handle classical text the way you do, don't diminish that'. He was right. It should not be reduced, and I do it all the time.
The last thing Daisy was doing in his article was being reductive. If anything he is fighting against all of us that accept this status quo. We should not be apologizing for our need to do art, we should not mitigate its effect, or its purpose.
I feel like he is asking us to grow a pair.
Well done.
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