I am a huge proponent of the "Leave your emotional baggage at the door" theatre ethic. I don't do well when I try to connect to real life moments when I am acting. Method acting is not my strong suit. Thus, recalling a hard moment from my childhood, is not the best way for me to reach a place of intensity. I actually perform best when I am happy/peaceful. No matter what the material.
That being said, Monday night did not go well for me. It was a strange drive into DC, what with the shootings, and the wind, and the electrical outages. I made it to my audition late and very preoccupied. Thankfully they were running behind, and friends were there, and they brought me back to my good spirits. We agreed to have dinner after we were done and then, when I saw how late it was getting I called to check in at home. I was told that a family friend was unaccounted for at Tech, but that I should not worry, everyone was sure they would find her. Distracted, preoccupied I did my audition. I thought it went OK, but I have never been in this moment. I have never had to perform/sell myself, directly after being hit with pure emotional confusion. In retrospect I thought I really held it together, although I am pretty sure I did not get the part. But that is nothing now.
As you can tell from my last post, our friend was among the victims; we found out 15 minutes after I got home. This week has been devoid of air. It feels like everyone who knew her is having a hard time breathing. While I keep things anonymous on this blog, I will say this about her.
She made me laugh out loud.
She had a husky, sultry voice that matched her beauty.
While everyone will say she was an angel, she had a wicked sense of humour that you were only privy to after her initial shyness was overcome.
I am not blowing sunshine here, not making her more than she really was, not having death make her more interesting, when I say that she was stellar. Extremely bright, studious and very close to her family. She was one of those types. The person you look at and think 'She got the full package - brains, beauty, ambition and sweetness.'
I take heart in the fact that she knew how singular she was. Her family and friends did not leave it unsaid. She was surrounded by people who loved her and she was lauded on more than one occasion, and always accepted her laurels with humility and graciousness. She was a gift.
And with those words, I sign off.
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2 comments:
This is a very touching an real account of your friend. From what I've read about her other places, it seems she had a very strong personality and presence. She must be ripping a very large hole in your heart right now. It must be somewhat comforting to know, at least, that she knew how much she was loved. What else is there. The whole thing is as fucked up as it gets. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on her and love to you and your family.
Thanks for your words. Hope to see you soon.
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