monday monday

There is always this place of frustration for me in the rehearsal process; after choices have been made and major discoveries have happened, when you have to begin to let it flow. Lines cease to be words on a page and become your natural instinct. Right before I hit my stride I have the worst couple of rehearsals where everything feels clunky and I forget every memorized word and the arc of each scene does not seem to match what I had previously done. I have to remind myself that this will pass, but it always catches me off guard.

It also comes at a weird time in this particular rehearsal process, because I have to go to Chicago for the next few days and I am not prepared for the absence. I wanted to feel like my grasp on this show had gelled more before leaving. I have promised myself that I will read the show and mentally walk through it once a day until I get back.

I watch some actors and it seems so effortless for them during rehearsals. There are times like that for me as well, but I always hit a couple snags and have to take a step back to see the picture again before moving on. I am craving that moment when it all fits and the puzzle makes sense and then it just feels oh so wonderful to let the part crackle and spark out of me. I know some actors who love the rehearsal process for its discovery and, in fact say it is their favorite part of doing theatre. I do love finding a role, and exploring a script. I am always happy and willing to try something new, but I must say that I love it best when it all comes together and fits just right.

Until next week...