gave me the creeps

I saw Hilda at Studio this weekend and it dredged up some memories that I have not thought of for quite some time. The play captures the sick obsession that a wealthy woman has with the woman (Hilda) whom she has hired to care for her kids and clean house. Although the play is very surreal, the emotions and actions were so on target it was eerie.

As many actors have done, I have held many different jobs to pay the bills in the past. One of them was as a nanny. I have never felt more trapped or more prodded in any job than I did in that one. I had babysat before, and I have to say that wealth made a big difference in how I was treated. I was never treated badly, by anyone. But those who were not extremely wealthy, had the attitude of 'So long the kids are well cared for and happy, we are ok', whereas the wealthy had the attitude of 'The kids will only be happy and well cared for if you do everything my way, love them as your own, and sacrifice your personality while doing it'. They would have never stated this and they did not understand that they were demanding this form of control. I have been asked by some of the wealthier families to do the following:

-Iron their children's jeans.
-Be the only adult their child sees for days on end. I even had a child calling me Mommy because she assumed after a few weeks that is who I must be.
-Drive only their vehicles (even when I did not have their child in the car with me).
-Not eat any red meat in front of their child.
-Change the parents sheets while the mother watched.
-Brush, and style the mothers hair.

None of these things seem too heinous but they were all deal breakers. I have had parents come on to me, demand I take vacations with them, and yes, just like Hilda, requests that I not go home, but stay the night (with new clothes and toiletries offered by the parents). To me, there was nothing scarier than this sense of ownership that they had. The idea that because I was caring for their children they were now entitled to ask things that were so far over the line it was freaky. They knew exactly how to push me so gradually across the line that I did not realize I had taken a wrong step. With the slightest nudges they would work their way toward ownership. Worse, was the fact that there were children involved and that they were used as leverage to get me to stay, or go along with things that I, as an individual, wouldn't do, under the auspice of 'You wouldn't want to upset the children, would you?'

All these things were done, with a smile, and politeness. If I hesitated or refused then more money was offered, or a car, or a shopping trip (I kid you not). Hilda captured this current day slavery with acute simplicity. In fact I had not thought of it as slavery until watching the play. I don't think it will go down as one of my favorite pieces of theatre, but it did a concise job of capturing something which I have encountered first hand. Well done.